Agnieszka Smoczynska’s “The Lure” – 2016 Fantasia Film Review

It’s a slippery existence for mermaids on earth in “The Lure.” (still courtesy of the Fantasia International Film Festival)

If you watch only one mermaid musical in your lifetime, please let it be this one. “The Lure” is pretty much the best movie in the world for its first half. Two young naked Mermaid sisters walk out of the water and into the lives of the owner and managers of a naughty nightclub while singing “We won’t eat you, my dear. Eat yoooouuuu. Eat yoooouuu.” But, of course, given half a chance, they will.

Quickly becoming one of the club’s regular acts, erotic dancers are followed by contortionists are followed by torch song singers are followed by our singing, dancing, naked mermaids.  Yes, dancing. Out of water, each girl’s scaly 12-foot-long, eel-like appendage turns into legs and feet. Just one thing: they are without genitals when in human form. Sprinkle them with water, however, and the tail reappears, and with it, a rather grotesque “slit” near the tail’s end. “Smells fishy,” one crass old man complains.

Yet, while one of the mermaids is eager to satisfy her hunger for bloody man flesh, the other discovers that she is more hungry for love. In fact, for the right fella, she might be willing to have her fish parts cut off and replaced with human parts. Unfortunately, it is during this section that the film begins to flounder. Still, if you’re a fan of musicals, mermaids, murder or mammaries, you really can’t help but fall for “The Lure.”

“The Lure” screened at the 2016 Fantasia International Film Festival on Tuesday, July 19.

Recommended “NSFW” trailer: